Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
