Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
