Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
