also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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