you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
