He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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