So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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