Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize