Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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