she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize