My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
