every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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