I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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