On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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