It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
