we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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