i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
