Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize
