she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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