so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I skipped work to stalk him.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
