you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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