I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
