The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
