Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
