I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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