look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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