You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
