he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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