I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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