I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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