Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
