i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize