i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
