im drinking this country out of the recession.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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