I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
