he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Girls should come with a carfax report
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Mom said you looked used
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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