are you still at the devil's house?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
