babies were throwing up all over the place
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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