so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
