i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
