sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
