While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
