is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
why is half of my head shaved?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
