if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
