It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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