real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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