there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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