walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
