i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize