If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
