her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
