she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
you will always have a special place in my vag
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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