why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
