I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
