I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
BRING THE BAGELS
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize