I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
