we're blogging at a bar
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
