The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
