Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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