we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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