I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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