Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
