Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize