Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
