I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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