I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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